I recently typed this and sent it to an on-line friend in England. Since it's now been keystroked, I thought I'd put it on a webpage. This was my favorite joke to tell back in high school nearly 30 years ago. No wonder I wasn't voted Most Popular! I forget though what name I used to tell it with so I've put blanks (__) in place of a name. Hope you like it!

My Favorite Joke

__ was walking down the hall of his school one day when he noticed a door that was slightly ajar. Going up to the door he could hear voices inside so he stood at the door and tried to make out what was being said. Nothing was too clear but one phrase did make its way to his ears. He heard one of the voices say something about "Purple Passion." 

Curious, he reported to his next class and decided to ask his teacher if she knew what the phrase signified. As soon as the words "Purple Passion" had escaped his lips, the teacher's jaw dropped and a look of terror came into her eyes. "Young man, you will need to see the principal immediately. I can't have you saying such things in my classroom," and out the door he was sent, to the principal's office. 

There he had a short wait until the principal would see him. Once in his office, the principal asked why he had been sent there. "Your teacher was very upset," he reported. 

"I only asked her what Purple Passion is," he related. The principal's eyes bulged and a look of shock came over him also. 

"That's a terrible thing to ask and say," the principal replied. "I'm afraid you will have to be expelled starting instantly." 

When __ got home, earlier than usual, his mother was there and asked why he was home early. "I've been expelled." 

"But why?" 

"I asked my teacher and then the principal what Purple Passion is," he answered. His mother immediately began shaking. 

"You need to get up to your room and stay there until your father comes home." 

When his father came home he went to __'s room. 

"Your mother said you got expelled today and you upset her very much. What is this all about?" 

"I overheard someone say something about Purple Passion today and I wondered what it is," __ said. 

"Where could you have heard such a thing?" his father shouted, suddenly angry. "You can pack up your things immediately and get out of this house. You are no son of mine. Out!" 

__ did as he was told, putting a few belongings into a small satchel and heading out of the house. With nowhere to go, and still curious about Purple Passion, he thought he would have to ask someone less refined than those he had already asked. His first thought was the sailors down at the docks. 

He wandered to the docks and indeed found a group of sailors loitering. He went up to the group and bravely interrupted them, "Excuse me, could any of you tell me what Purple Passion is?" The sailors jumped back a bit, startled, except for one sailor who advanced on __ and took a swing at him, knocking him with such force that __ was sent off the docks and into the water. 

The sailors quickly informed the on-lookers of why __ had been sent into the water so the crowd would not help him. Indeed, they would not let him back onto the docks or onto dry land. __ had no choice to but go the other way, swimming out to an ocean liner that was in the bay. Helped aboard by the crew there, he was asked what had happened. "I asked some sailors what Purple Passion is," he told them. 

"Agh! No wonder you were pushed in. I should do the same but I'll have you see our captain," the crewman said. 

The captain received him and was told the boy was pulled from the bay. "What's all this commotioin?" he asked. __ told him and the captain too began to shake his head. "I should throw you back into the bay but I'm a kinder captain than most. I'll allow to stay on board but when we get to our next port you will have to leave the ship." 

The ship's next port was in Cairo, Egypt. __ was ordered from the ship and wondered what to do next. He knew little about Egypt but had heard that sheiks were very worldly and sophisticated in things exotic. He decided to find a sheik and ask him about Purple Passion. He wandered into the Sahara and a day or two later found a sheik. 
"Could you tell me what Purple Passion is?" he asked. "I've been thrown out and nearly drowned trying to find out." 

"Purple Passion...," the sheik pronounced slowly. "Purple Passion. Hm, I don't know myself what that is but I know someone who can tell you. You must go to 1515 Mulberry Street in London. Someone there can help you." 

__ made his way to London and eventually found Mulberry Street. He was excited because his journey had been long and extensive. It was a plain-looking house. He walked up to it and knocked on the door. An old woman answered. 

"Excuse me," he said. "I was told to come here and that you could tell me what Purple Passion is." 

The old woman looked him over more carefully. "I'm not the one you seek but I know where you need to go," she said and took him back to her front door. She pointed across the street. "That is where you will learn what it is you seek," she told him. 

__ was very excited, thanked the old woman and dashed across the street, not looking for traffic. He was run over by a bus. 

The End 

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