Thursday's Bulletin Board included an update from Sharon of Roseville: "I'm still cleaning my desk. I guess I should have realized that cataloging 30 years of information would take more than half an hour.
"I just found a newspaper article from the Globe and Mail, which is published in Canada. I clipped it from the paper when I was in Calgary — planning to send it in to the Bulletin Board.
" 'Flatulent nurse suspended for six months,' said the headline. 'An Ontario nurse has been found guilty of professional misconduct for passing gas in the presence of a patient's wife. The first time appears accidental. But a discipline committee reports that the embarrassed witness was asked if she 'wanted more' before the flatulent nurse broke wind again. The nurse had no recollection of the event but agreed it is not polite to pass gas in front of others. The woman has been suspended for six months for 'vulgar and offensive behavior.'
"I don't know why I thought you BBers should know about this, but I have been saving this clipping for over five years.
"I can throw it away now."
Replies, of various sorts, were quick in arriving:
Paul Peter Paulos of St. Paul: "It was moving to read Sharon's long-suppressed 'flatulent' story — and I, too, have such a story I've kept under control for far too long now.
"Seems a quite inebriated gent in a posh Minneapolis restaurant, walking past an upscale couple out on the town, tripped behind their table and, lurching forward, momentarily lost a bit of sphincter control, and, yes, gas attack! Well, the upscale gent berated the inebriated gent by bellowing: 'How dare you pass gas (not his real phrase) before my wife!' The drunk sheepishly replied: 'I'm sorry. I didn't know it was her turn.' "
Poet X of PDX: "I've torn it out and put it on my bulletin board, but won't wait five years to share it — the headline from the local weekly alt-press paper: 'Bush's Premature Iraq Elation.' And you thought the Eleanor Roosevelt poem lacked political correctness? I chuckle."