Bulletin Board, exerpt


An extended exerpt from (St. Paul Pioneer Press) Bulletin Board, Sept. 10, 2004

Here come the fools!

More on wedding music of the unexpected variety: The Tooth Fairy of Inver Grove Heights: "It was back in the mid-'70s, and a bunch of us were attending the wedding of some friends. The bride was well along in the final trimester of her pregnancy. Nevertheless, a big church wedding was planned. During that Flower Child era, it was kind of new and radical to not be hiding a pregnancy before marriage. Anyway, the bride processed (kind of waddled?) down the aisle of the church in a traditional white wedding dress, well stretched across her expanding abdomen, to the then-popular tune of Paul Anka's '(You're) Having My Baby.' Even as contemporary and as modern as we thought we were back then, that tune was enough to inspire lots of chuckles among the guests." Queen of Farina: "Back in the late '70s, when we were just nearing the end of high school, one of our girlfriends was planning her upcoming wedding. She was contemplating the music she should have, and she said: 'You know, the one song I really like and would like to have at my wedding is "The Impossible Dream." ' We talked her out of it, but it would have been a fairly characteristic choice for her. Imagine!" Nutty Nan of St. Paul: "My girlfriend, if she ever gets married again, wants to play AC/DC's song 'Highway to Hell' at her wedding. Hmmm, maybe that's why she's still single. Too many flashbacks from her first wedding."

Ask a silly question

Poet X of PDX: "I had my Carpenters CDs with me at work, and the woman who works in the cubicle across from me noticed. Her face soured, and she said: 'I don't like their songs.' " 'Ruined by too many weddings?' I asked. " 'Yes, and a couple of them were mine.' "

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants!

Iowa Girl of Woodbury: "Two years ago, my uncle passed away after a battle with cancer. He had never married, and since my brother and I grew up in the same town he lived in, we were very close. "His funeral in small-town Iowa was attended by many folks from the community, as well as his buddies from the Shriners. A large portrait of my uncle wearing his Shriner's fez was displayed at the front of the room. "The funeral was typical, with a solemn minister leading the service. A tiny, gray-haired woman played the organ. About halfway through the service, the minister read a Bible passage and said: 'Now we will listen to one of Richard's favorite songs.' He sat down in a very dignified manner, and suddenly the organist launched into a rousing rendition of 'The Beer Barrel Polka.' "My brother and I looked up at the portrait of our uncle grinning away in his fez and burst out laughing. In spite of the dirty looks we earned from our mother, I have never enjoyed a funeral more. It was a perfect way to say goodbye to our uncle laughing and crying simultaneously."